Many of us are wary about starting to date again after divorce or the death of a spouse. We may tread lightly, even fearfully, into this brave new world that barely resembles the world we grew up in. The rules have changed, the venues are unfamiliar (online dating? cybersex? speed dating?), and certainly we have changed.

Here are some tips for getting back in the dating game safely and successfully. Good luck—and please let me know your stories!

1. Don't date until you're really ready—before that, go out with friends, go dancing for the pleasures of physical touching, and have buddies of both genders whose company you enjoy and to whom you can talk honestly and deeply.

2. Engage in activities you really enjoy where you'll meet other people (friends or potential dates) who also like your favorite activities, like hiking, book discussion groups, and dancing.

3. Try online dating. Some people have great luck with it. Others don't. Keep in mind that people often describe themselves inaccurately and sometimes (often?) lie about their age, looks, marital status, finances, and their emotional stability. So have plenty of email talk and then phone conversations before you decide to meet, and then be sure to follow #4, 5, and 6 below.

4. Meet new people for coffee or a walk in a public place. Don't go on a "date" before getting to know him/her. Trust your gut if you feel uneasy, and end the meeting politely but firmly.

5. When you go out on a first date, be sure a friend knows where you're going and with whom, and when to expect a call from you. Call your buddy when you get home or, if you can do this discretely, from the date venue. If you decide to go somewhere else with your date, call your buddy about the change in plans.

6. When you're ready to have sex again, use condoms every time. Don't believe someone who tells you, "I'm safe, we don't need to use condoms." If she/he's willing to go to bed with you without protection, then how many other people has she/he done this with? It's a hassle, sure, but it's a myth that only young people are at risk for HIV or other STDs. (Please see my blog post, How Do You Handle Sex and Dating [1].)

– Joan Price is the author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty. Visit her website at joanprice.com [2] and her sex and aging blog at betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com [3].