Have you ever noticed how easy it is for your mind to slip into negativity? I have. For example, I have been thinking of joining an online dating service. However, each time I scan the sites, my mind convinces me that it is a waste of time. I tell myself that I don't have the patience to engage in the same conversation repeatedly with strangers with whom I feel no chemistry. My mind cautions me that the ads may lie. People promote themselves as tall when they are short and post pictures of themselves taken fifteen years ago. "Statistics are not in my favor," I conclude. With that, negativity wins out and I spend most Saturday nights watching DVDs with my cat George.

Although I am generally a positive person, these moments of negativity often take hold without my awareness. Like a pre-programmed record, it is the nature of the mind to get stuck in a groove, repeating limiting thought patterns that seem so old and ancestral, they just might predate us. Because they are so familiar, we tend to believe such thoughts are the gospel truth.

Upon examination, some of my coaching clients have revealed that negativity serves to protect them. After all, they reason, if you don't expect much, you can't get hurt. Negativity keeps us from stretching to become the kind of person who attracts what we want. Having assumed our self-imposed boundaries, we then righteously cling to the comfort of our limited self-definitions and worldview. For many people, the tendency towards negativity increases as we age, thus shrinking our world exponentially.

Recently, I had the opportunity to experiment with changing my limited thinking when the Board of my Mother's homeowners' association met to discuss "the feral cat problem." Neighbors were concerned that the five feral cats my Mom feeds and has had spayed posed a threat to the community. One neighbor was convinced that a stray cat had ripped her screen while another complained that one had defecated on her lawn. The Board notified my Mother that she could state her case at the meeting. Being unable to attend, she sent me instead.

People told me that fighting a homeowners' board is as effective as spitting in the wind. Therefore, I chose not to fight. Instead, I collected information from Alley Cat Allies, a non-profit organization, brainstormed the board's objectives and identified my talking points. Most importantly, I reframed the situation. Instead of negatively assuming I would meet with resistance, I imagined on a sensory level that I was met with kindness and understanding. On a daily basis for weeks before the meeting, I sent good thoughts and love to board members. As these cats were very important to my Mom, I envisioned victory. Failure was not an option I wanted to consider.

You could have knocked me over when the board gracefully and gratefully accepted my information and suggestions. They allowed my Mom to keep her cats and I received a valuable lesson in minding my mind.

Since then, I have become more aware of the way my mind cons me. To better mind my mind I have come up with three fast ways to eliminate negativity.

1. I say, "Cancel" every time a negative thought or image appears in my mind. This practice is like pressing the delete key on my computer.

2. Instead of saying "I have to" do something (like wash my floor or write a report) I now say, "I get to do" these things. As soon as "I get to," I start noticing the positive opportunities in the tasks that lie ahead.

3. I've noticed that negative thoughts constrict and rob me of my vitality. Thus, after I say ‘Cancel' I kinesthetically take space. I do this by taking a couple of deep breaths to release my tensions. I then imagine that like the sun, I am radiating 360 degrees around me. In so doing, I shine my way through the darkness.

How do you shift away from negative thought patterns? Please take a moment and write a comment. Thanks.

- Aimee Bernstein is a writer and the President of Open Mind Adventures, a company that provides consulting, coaching and training in the areas of leadership, organization and personal development.

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posted at 05:47:46 PM