Being opinionated can be a strength—not the fault it's often made out to be.

I still recall the first time someone accused me of being too opinionated. I was about eight years old, and it was my own father chastising me for this fault—one that, with his traditional sensibilities, he found especially disturbing in a girl.

It certainly wasn't the last time this fault surfaced. Note that I say "fault"—because for a long time I believed (to my own discomfort) that being opinionated was a fault, and a quality to be equated with narrow-mindedness. But over time I've come to the conclusion that these two traits are neither interchangeable nor identical. (Just consider all the people who've accused me of being too liberal, meaning too receptive to new ideas.)

So, what's the difference between defending an opinion and being just plain stubborn and close-minded? The difference becomes more evident as we age.

Many of us refuse to be called "older" and prefer "mature"—and rightly so, because there's a strong difference between the two. Rigidity, inflexibility, and an inability to understand and accept are signs of the atrophy that characterizes aging of mind as well as muscle. Maturity, on the other hand, suggests perspective and a willingness to incorporate new ideas into one's philosophy. It also denotes an ability to give—and to give in—that so many people, younger and older, lack.

Well-developed opinions on everything from how we like our coffee to where we want to live can in fact make our mature years a reward. That's because our opinions are intensely personal; they spring from an inner place that has absorbed the contents of life. They represent our decisions about what is meaningful, and what should be defended. Holding a considered opinion indicates that we are willing to remain involved, curious, risk-takers who trust our instincts and have not allowed the daily grind to sap our enthusiasm for life.

We are entitled to opinions as much as any politician or leader, and in our own universes those opinions can make all the difference—not just in how our coffee tastes, but in the quality of our lives and those around us.

ELDR Editors' Note: Leda has published a book of essays called, Look for the Moon in the Morning. To learn more about Leda Sanford, you can visit her website, ledasanford.com. 

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posted at 08:21:10 AM