Ask Nader

Answers from our expert senior psychologist, Nader Shabahangi

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I Hate Bingo!

Q. Since my husband died six years ago, I've been incredibly lonely. My daughters tell me to get out more, but I don't enjoy the socials at my retirement center, and I've never been one to play cards and games like my neighbors do. What should I do?

A. It's a double whammy. You don't want to impose, and you don't want to appear needy. Yet we all need community. And here's the thing: Your community needs you, too.

That's hard to remember when you've lost your loved one, especially if most of your purpose derived from him. It's as if you have to relearn how to be social. Patterns aren't easy to break, but you can do this.

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posted at 11:45:32 PM | permalink

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Home Interest

Q. We'd like to discuss how our father's new wife fits into his estate planning. There's a family lake home that means a lot to us kids, and it's his biggest asset. How do we talk about inheritance without appearing ungrateful?

A. You need to ask yourself some deep questions. Are you hanging onto the lake home because it has so many memories, or because of some other benefit? Do you not trust Dad to make a fair decision? Or do you just want to make sure you get the house?

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posted at 11:49:49 PM | permalink

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